Marriage or Civil Unions?

Should the gay community be focusing on legalizing same-sex marriage or civil unions? I've been debating this question with myself for a while, and still am not sure. On one hand, it is hard to justify creating a "separate but equal" institution that is supposed to give all or most of the rights and benefits of marriage for one category of people--gays and lesbians. If it is a separate institution, it cannot be equal to marriage (at least under current federal and state laws).

Terry Allen makes a good case for civil unions in the Feb. issue of In These Times: Forget Marriage--Civil Unions for All Her approach, which I like, is to get the government out of marriage and leave that "institution" up to churches and other religious groups to define as they see fit, but make "civil unions" equal benefits, rights, etc. for any (consenting adult) couple, gay or straight. This argument would appeal to the non-religious, libertarians and some conservatives who want "less government." We could even make civil unions an option for couples who may not even be in a sexual relationship at all (like the growing number of senior citizens who are in non-sexual relationships but would benefit from civil union benefits and rights.)

By the way, in France More Straight Couples are Opting for Civil Unions Over Marriage!

I agree with Chris Crain that the gay rights movement must NOT pursue a "marriage only" strategy, but move forward with marriage and civil unions simultaneously. One advantage of this approach is that it would result in rights for gay couples in all 50 states, not just the few who will legalize gay marriage any time soon.

Maybe after getting the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) passed, the gay community could work with the Obama administration to (a) scrap the "Defense of Marriage Act" (DOMA) and (b) create a federal recognition of civil unions.

See Beyond Marriage